Weak moment

​I’ve removed the below text from my previous post.  Not only does it distract from the point I was trying to make.  It also sounds like driveling self pity.   

All the same, I wrote it, so not gonna hide it.  More and better to follow…

I’ve played guitar for over 30 years on and off.  Not great, but not bad either.  I can write songs, and learn many songs on the radio by ear.  That was my passion growing up.   These days, I don’t play so much.  I don’t feel a passion about anything in my life.  Like a life’s mission or whatever.

I want to be my own hero, but I’m not this dynamic person.  Lately, I don’t feel so heroic.  But here I , working on all these things in my life.  Up at 2 am now.  Most people would just roll over and fall back asleep.  I’m not the person I’m proud to be yet, but at least I’m thinking in that direction.   

Today at work, I was busy.  A lot of people were, but I just felt like this island.  I’m introverted, but need people.  Weird, I know.  I was lonely today.  I had a few interactions with GDG and the family, but by 8 30 I was done..in bed.  

Now I’m up at 2, feeling lonely.  Wife was squirming around the bed some so put a hand on her shoulder.   She grabbed one finger of my hand and moved it off her shoulder.   I just got up and brushed my teeth, got some water and came to the den to try and fall asleep again.

This post makes no sense right now.  I’m not sure why writing or what the point is anymore.


Author: fight4urlover

So about me... I'm a middle-aged guy, married 15+ years with kids. I love my wife, and have never so much as kissed another woman the entire time we have been married. When we first met, we had both been cheated on, and we decided that we would not cheat on each other. I think we have both teetered on the edge. Like most married couples, over the years, we have given each other plenty of reasons to build resentment at times. So this space is a personal reflection of my journey of attempting to remain married and true. That's why I started this first-ever blog. The goal is to avoid sounding like one of those "perfect" articles of someone who sounds like they are giving advice. This all comes from personal experience or from talking to other people, married and single, and I want to keep it raw. To me that's more exciting than a well-researched topic. Everyone can relate to this on a human level. I know that guys like to get to the point, and ladies like a good story with plenty of details, so I'll try to find a balance. Strap in and let's ride!

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