I can describe the relationship that begun earlier this month online with someone across the world as Lover, friend, companion, marriage counselor, therapist, spark that lights my day. None of these roles alone fit, but they all apply. Both of our minds have been blown beyond speech several times. Every time it feels like things can’t be more open or intense, the experience levels up to our surprise. The surprises come from so many similarities in our lives, and leading each other to new personal understandings, and new levels of trust.
Let me start with the most memorable moment for me personally. We have a joke about seeing each other online with a green dot on computer. We live for the green dot. I know, how old are we? Reborn, that’s how old. I just started a new this year. I’ll call her my green dot girl, GDG…among many other affectionate names.Anyway, she told me that she read my blog. As a result, realized something about herself that allowed her to open herself back up to her husband, and said that it was because of me that their relationship hit a new high. She even mentioned that he noticed the change, and thanked her for letting him love her. She also said in the next breath that she did not think it possible to love 2 people at the same time, but loves me as well. Now, when I stopped to reread the fact that I was able to improve someone else’s life from my own ramblings, I dropped to my bed and started crying uncontrollably. I could not stop it. It was a moment where my body shook, as tears streamed down my face. Tears of pure joy that I never thought possible. I was just humbled beyond words. She went on to tell me how much she trusted me, and told me her name address, phone#, place of work and said didn’t care what I knew about her, and asked for nothing in return. Yes, I gave her my REAL NUMBER. What am I rhinking? I don’t care!!! I have faith in this woman.
She then made me promise to never put her in place of my family. To never give up, unless I’ve given it all. She told me I still loved my wife, even though I felt otherwise. She said the fact that I was bothered by being rejected by my wife was proof I still loved my wife. She knew this because she had gone through the same thought process. She told me to remember a time when I was in love with my wife, and build off of that feeling. So I promised my GDG that I would make an honest effort.
I love her so much too, my GDG…no one else has opened me up the way she has EVER in my life. She said she wants to always be a part of my life. How can I refuse?