The End and the Beginning

So my PLR came in with a rock on her finger from a guy who has been in love with her for 20 some years.  Hat’s off my brother.  I could not last that long with my heart on hold, but glad you got exactly what you both seem to want.  Truly happy for both of you.  If I’m honest, a little sad it’s not me getting the exciting change in my life.

I want someone who wants me and appreciates me everyday.  I know the lovey dovey phase of a relationship does not last…too bad.  

I have noticed my daughters giving me some attention lately for some reason.  Don’t know why, not asking questions…

I gotta find my inner happy in order to share it.  You keep hearing these people saying to love yourself like no one else will.  I do want to be my own hero, and figure this out.  I don’t know where my life is headed, and I’m at least halfway through it.

You know, when you’re young, you want to find “the one”, and live together forever, happily ever after.  When you get older, you just want the happily ever after.  I seriously question whether some people can find long term joy in a long term relationship (one of those people being myself).  I have sacrificed and compromised so much over the course of my marriage.  I know my wife has.  Are we any better for it?  There is no strength in suffering…

Sure we had some good times too, but in any case, the past does not define the present for me.  Time will tell I guess.  

One difference is that I am actively looking for happiness now.  I don’t know what that means,  sometimes, and feel a little lost.  I know things that don’t make me happy.  Before I pull away, I have to ask myself if there’s a truth that makes me uncomfortable,  or it’s something to just walk away from.  Don’t know if that makes any sense.   I just don’t want to walk away from something just because it makes me uncomfortable. …ok, enough already.  Good night people.



Author: fight4urlover

So about me... I'm a middle-aged guy, married 15+ years with kids. I love my wife, and have never so much as kissed another woman the entire time we have been married. When we first met, we had both been cheated on, and we decided that we would not cheat on each other. I think we have both teetered on the edge. Like most married couples, over the years, we have given each other plenty of reasons to build resentment at times. So this space is a personal reflection of my journey of attempting to remain married and true. That's why I started this first-ever blog. The goal is to avoid sounding like one of those "perfect" articles of someone who sounds like they are giving advice. This all comes from personal experience or from talking to other people, married and single, and I want to keep it raw. To me that's more exciting than a well-researched topic. Everyone can relate to this on a human level. I know that guys like to get to the point, and ladies like a good story with plenty of details, so I'll try to find a balance. Strap in and let's ride!

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