Light humor from the heart


Author: fight4urlover

So about me... I'm a middle-aged guy, married 15+ years with kids. I love my wife, and have never so much as kissed another woman the entire time we have been married. When we first met, we had both been cheated on, and we decided that we would not cheat on each other. I think we have both teetered on the edge. Like most married couples, over the years, we have given each other plenty of reasons to build resentment at times. So this space is a personal reflection of my journey of attempting to remain married and true. That's why I started this first-ever blog. The goal is to avoid sounding like one of those "perfect" articles of someone who sounds like they are giving advice. This all comes from personal experience or from talking to other people, married and single, and I want to keep it raw. To me that's more exciting than a well-researched topic. Everyone can relate to this on a human level. I know that guys like to get to the point, and ladies like a good story with plenty of details, so I'll try to find a balance. Strap in and let's ride!

5 thoughts on “Light humor from the heart”

  1. Since she isn’t authorizing my larger comment, here it is:

    FNU MNU LNU says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    November 6, 2016 at 1:16 pm
    well he was a miserable selfish prick, so it was pretty understandable.

    what growing up in that environment for me, was to be able to see bullshit pretty easily, to call it out when i saw it, and to be able to walk away from it without hesitating. very helpful in my career.

    it didn’t make it hard for me to trust. it did make me not bother anymore, once i saw someone violate my trust.

    to be honest, at the beginning i started off with way more one night stands than i should have. i did have a few more stable and longer lasting girl friends, and we split for various reasons, some mine and some theirs.

    i married someone who was actually pretty awesome.

    at first…

    at about 10 years in she changed. or to be more accurate, she became more of who she really was, and it wasn’t easy. i wrote on someone’s blog about this, and i’m too lazy to retype it all, or to even go look for it. in a nutshell selfish, ignored us, lied about a lot, undermined me with the kids, blah, blah, blah. my mistake was actually trying to fix things for as long as i did. it started to do to my kids, what my parents did to me and my sister, minus the alcohol and violence.

    it screwed me up so much towards the end, that i threw away my best friend and someone i had fallen in love with. see after Pam, i locked myself down hard for about 6 years. another young woman finally started to pull me out of the darkness, but that fell apart for reasons i’m not entirely sure i know about. see she will be my last attempt ever. i’m going full monk mode.

    luckily i think my kids saw how hard i tried with everything, and two out of three have healthy relationships. my third has an addiction to playing video games, so girls aren’t really in the picture. he’s had a couple on and off, but i think he may be going mgtow already.

    but my comment to wonderme was more based on what i’ve seen other people go through. its easier to see things clearly, when you are looking at it from the outside. i’ve seen the result when peoples kids end up in court over and over, because their parents wasted time fighting over every little unimportant piece of shit, than to show their kids by example how to be a decent person.

    i used to think that getting divorced was a horrible thing for kids. and in many ways i still do. but a close friend told me about how bad things were when her parents were together, and how easier it was when they split.

    but its up to the parents to try and give their kids the proper perspective about relationships. ones that work, and ones that didnt. its the parents role to provide their kids a proper moral compass. its up to parents to provide their kids an example of what it means to be a good parent.

    i completely understand how feelings can change over time. i understand how wonderme got to where she is. BTDT. but how would she feel about the same thing but in reverse being done to her daughter? what does she really believe that her daughter is seeing during all this? she is showing the girl that this is ok. kids learn so much by example.

    and how hypocritical is it to complain about her husband looking at her phone and computer, while he has to watch his wife go out and bang some other guy FOR MONTHS after he first finds out about the affair. and what does that show their daughter?

    again, i completely understand how her feelings have changed. but i don’t understand how people put themselves before their kids. and even though she no longer loves her husband, he doesn’t deserve to be used like this.

    any short term fling can be great. but they don’t really know each other.

    and she is setting a course for herself, that more often than not, doesn’t end up with her being happy. seen that a lot, especially in my area of work. the woman gets tingles for some guy, divorces her husband, takes up with the other guy, and ends up much more unhappy a few years later. and then it repeats.

    i hope things work out well for her, whatever that means.

    but what shes doing right now is very cruel to her husband, can be very damaging to her child, and more likely than not setting herself up for a future that is just more of the same.

    Liked by 1 person

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