Face to Face dreaming

So this morning, in between sleep and fully awake, I just had a picture of standing in front of my personal lightening rod (PLR there is an entire post if you have no frame of reference).  We were standing face to face in front of each other.  She had her arms around my waist, and I had my arms around hers and we were just looking into each others’ eyes, and just content with the world.  It was so beautiful in my mind.

Having dreams or whatever you call it like that are an inspiration-so amazing, but when you wake up fully, your mind goes in a twist.  I just remind myself that I am defining changes in my life, that are independent of any other human being.  I will never give up one reality because of another person.  Any change will be as a result of what I need in my life, no matter how temporary or permanent.  It is really just an inner reflection into what/who I am at the core, and standing up for that. It is also a forgiveness of any perceived lack.  Some things I can change, some I cannot (other people mainly), so I have a choice.

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Author: fight4urlover

So about me... I'm a middle-aged guy, married 15+ years with kids. I love my wife, and have never so much as kissed another woman the entire time we have been married. When we first met, we had both been cheated on, and we decided that we would not cheat on each other. I think we have both teetered on the edge. Like most married couples, over the years, we have given each other plenty of reasons to build resentment at times. So this space is a personal reflection of my journey of attempting to remain married and true. That's why I started this first-ever blog. The goal is to avoid sounding like one of those "perfect" articles of someone who sounds like they are giving advice. This all comes from personal experience or from talking to other people, married and single, and I want to keep it raw. To me that's more exciting than a well-researched topic. Everyone can relate to this on a human level. I know that guys like to get to the point, and ladies like a good story with plenty of details, so I'll try to find a balance. Strap in and let's ride!

10 thoughts on “Face to Face dreaming”

    1. Yes, it was. Unresolved feelings maybe. Who knows. I woke up, wrote this post, and just started the day. Anyway, this person has a fiance or whatever, and I’m married so seems a ridiculous thought, but was a nice way to wake up feeling like someone cares for you so much, and is just happy to be in the moment with you. I wish my real life was like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So it looks like you’re unconsciousness is looking to seek her or someone who gives you that type of affection. I understand, I wish for that also. I also know from experience that type of wishing has led down to a dark, destructive path…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah. Too many songs and movies written about this very thing. Just trying to keep my head clear and objective as possible. I wonder why the things that seem to bring such joy are on such slippery slopes anyway?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Because they provide a fantasy no real life scenario can stand up to. Why do you think they give advice about date night, advising on “dressing up, pretending you don’t know one another to spice up the marriage”?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yep, tried that. Wife didn’t seem interested in pretending not to know me, or that we go out and pretend buy her a drink and make up a line or anything like that. Believe it or not, I am still trying. I believe, like you have said, that most of it is in my head, but I think we both have things in real life that could stand some changing too.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. So she’s not interested in “kinky” stuff or Fifty Shades of Grey I take it ?

        It’s difficult to work if she’s not willing to try. Both parties need to try, if not it will remain the same. And sounds like your wife doesn’t want change…

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think I ever did stop wanting until she became involved in a serious relationship, and I had to respect her decision. I backed away, which was torture the first time. The second time it happened, I was introduced to another “stranger”, and I really haven’t thought about my PLR THAT much. Grateful for that. I got a random text from her a few days ago about some app to save money. I was surprised to have received it, but just went about my day. She had been the center, but I finally broke the gravitational pull of her orbit. She’s getting married, so now I can honestly say that I’m happy for her, and am in a space where I can be supportive without feeling jealous.

      Liked by 1 person

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