I would have given anything. you gave me hope. you gave me Something to Believe In. someone to stand beside me and take on anything. someone to laugh with. someone to be myself wIth and not have the other person disappointed.And now that’s gone. and I wonder what I’m fighting for.
I feel untethered and Free Falling. holding on to nothing and nothing’s holding me. part of me feels like I’m too old to be feeling this way. the other part of me doesn’t feel old at all and I just want to drink life in.
all the purpose that I used to feel in my day. What’s that all for now? was any of that real. Did any of that mean anything?
I will continue to work hard and do great things but without feeling like there’s any personal reward at the end of the day when I get home it’s like why am I doing this?
and I mean yes I have 2 great kids. I just don’t feel like their mom gives a crap about me most of the time. and maybe that’s all my fault. so what am I supposed to do? 20 years of emotional trip mines. I’m bound to get blown to shreds eventually.
I kind of feel like I need to just take my life in my hands. provide for my family but maybe be somewhere else. is this just what happens to a guy after he gets married and has kids. no not all guys. I’m not ready to accept it for this guy.