Something to fight for

I would  have given anything. you gave me hope.  you gave me Something to Believe In. someone to stand beside me and take on anything.  someone to laugh with. someone to be myself wIth and not have the other person disappointed.And now that’s gone. and I wonder what I’m fighting for.

 I feel untethered and Free Falling. holding on to nothing and nothing’s holding me. part of me feels like I’m too old to be feeling this way. the other part of me doesn’t feel old at all and I just want to drink life in.

 all the purpose that I used to feel in my day. What’s that all for now? was any of that real. Did any of that mean anything?

 I will continue to work hard and do great things but without feeling like there’s any personal reward at the end of the day when I get home it’s like why am I doing this?

 and I mean yes I have 2 great kids. I just don’t feel like their mom gives a crap about me most of the time. and maybe that’s all my fault. so what am I supposed to do? 20 years of emotional trip mines. I’m bound to get blown to shreds eventually.

 I kind of feel like I need to just take my life in my hands. provide for my family but maybe be somewhere else. is this just what happens to a guy after he gets married and has kids. no not all guys.   I’m not ready to accept it for this guy.


Author: fight4urlover

So about me... I'm a middle-aged guy, married 15+ years with kids. I love my wife, and have never so much as kissed another woman the entire time we have been married. When we first met, we had both been cheated on, and we decided that we would not cheat on each other. I think we have both teetered on the edge. Like most married couples, over the years, we have given each other plenty of reasons to build resentment at times. So this space is a personal reflection of my journey of attempting to remain married and true. That's why I started this first-ever blog. The goal is to avoid sounding like one of those "perfect" articles of someone who sounds like they are giving advice. This all comes from personal experience or from talking to other people, married and single, and I want to keep it raw. To me that's more exciting than a well-researched topic. Everyone can relate to this on a human level. I know that guys like to get to the point, and ladies like a good story with plenty of details, so I'll try to find a balance. Strap in and let's ride!

2 thoughts on “Something to fight for”

  1. From reading your blog so far, I believe you’re looking for passion, desire, and even fantasy. Except your wife isn’t willing to try as she’s quite comfortable in her life. I believe if she truly loves and appreciates you, she would be willing to do what it takes to make you happy. But I’m not sure in her case, does she feel she doesn’t need to do so because she doesn’t want to or because she doesn’t feel the need to do so unless the relationship feels threatened? I know men tend to reflect back a lot on the past because you committed yourself to a person you thought would make you happy. Do you believe your wife is willing to make you happy, at least once in awhile?

    Liked by 1 person

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