So, at the same time regular family life is going on, I am missing the hell out of my personal lightening rod.
I would like to thank amarriageabroad for adding the word limerence to my vocabulary.
the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.
In relationship counseling circles, this is the same term that I call my personal lightening rod. In order to break the limerance, there is supposed to be a separation from the person that could several years.
I actually have mixed feelings about this. I am a simple man, so when someone makes me happy just being themselves, I want more of that. I am not sure that I want to separate myself from this person. We have never actually gone anywhere together and hung out. We work together. This is just wrong on so many levels, I know. It goes against conventional wisdom. The other thing is that while both of us have encouraged certain conversations, neither of us have actually admitted any feelings. I can’t seem to help wanting to share stories and hear what my personal lightening rod has to share. I have worked with other women that had personalities and attributes that made them attractive, but I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like this. It’s why my mind is still in this twist. Part of me feels like I’ve met someone that I’m comfortable and compatible with in so many ways, and SO WHAT if I can’t control where I met this person.
The series of events over the last couple of days, makes me miss her more. I just want to see how she really is…not just who she is at the office. Maybe, she has other qualities that would drive me batshit crazy. How do I know unless I find out more?
It is beyond me. I have reached out to old friends and family about my dilemma, and have received feedback from others here on this site that is helpful to consider. I am hanging on by a thin thread that is slowly unwinding. It’s feverish, but I have not felt so alive in years.